There are a lot of things that kill attraction. Some work slower and take time to make your partner repulsed by you. Some work faster and can kill attraction in an instant. But this is about the absolute boss of every bad trait a human being can have. Think of it as a final boss on a video game.
This is the worst habit in the world. If you only got rid of this and nothing else, your love life would still improve massively. This goes deeper than love though. Neediness is bad. It can ruin your reputation and make people avoid you.
If you’re needy, one thing is for sure: No one will respect you. Because, why would they? Your friends will belittle you and take you for granted. They won’t value you. They know that you will always be there and that you depend on them. Of course, you’re still friends with them and they love you, but there won’t be respect.
You will always be the butt of the joke and whenever you are together with them, the one who will be teased is you. Over time, you will get sick of it.
Here are a few signs that you are being too pushy:
- You’re always the first one to call them.
- You message them back in seconds even though it takes them hours to respond.
- You’re too eager to meet up.
- You’re trying too hard to set up a meetup.
- Double texting.
- You’re too polite and laugh at every single joke they say.
- You’re trying to please them in any way to keep them satisfied.
See how the things above relate to your friendships AND romantic relationships? Take a long, hard look at them. Now look deep inside yourself. Do you recognize yourself in any of these?
Let’s talk more about love.
If you’re a guy, being needy is a HUGE turn off for girls. It makes their private parts as dry as the Sahara desert. Girls can get away with it more often, but it is still a bad trait. You can do everything right, but be needy two times in a row and your partners attraction drops down.
In movies, when a famous actor tells the girl: “I need you. You complete me.”
It’s all sweet and he ends up getting her. In real life, if you tell that to a girl, it will have a different ending. Having a NEED for someone is not healthy. Constantly messaging your partner and smothering them with attention is bad. Over time, you will push them away.
In the beginning, when you are still in your “honeymoon phase” it will look cute. After a few months, your partner will think: “It’s cute, but… It’s getting a bit annoying.”
And when you continue doing it even further, they will not be able to take it anymore and they will break it off. What I noticed though, is that a break up because of neediness can be turned around a lot easier than others.
Neediness and breakups
Neediness is an attraction killer, and that will also be the reason for your breakup. Loss of attraction. Right now, they are used to your attention and you always being there for them. They are fed up with it, actually. Humans tend to take the things they have for granted.
So once they break up with you, go no contact. And believe me, that will shock them. Because they had way too much of your attention, and right now they have none. They were used to you always messaging them and being there. Now, there is only silence. It’s like suddenly taking a drug from an addict.
What no contact will do is:
It will show them that you are not as needy as they thought. After all, here you are continuing with your life without contacting them. Like they never existed. You will look much stronger in their eyes.
It will also show them how good you were. You gave them attention and were good towards them. They will start to crave that attention once again. Their ego kicks in and they want it back. It filled them with good emotions when it was there. Now that it is not, they feel empty. What comes after that, is that they will start to miss you.
The most important thing is that during this time of no contact, you work on yourself. Work on your neediness. Going out and meeting new people and partners can help. Neediness usually stems from scarcity and insecurity in yourself. You’re afraid to lose people close to you because you are afraid of loneliness. Dating more and finding new friends will make you more abundant.
If you don’t work on yourself during this period, once they come back, you will lose them again. You will still be the same person that lost them. After some time, they will realize that you haven’t actually changed at all. It’s all downhill from there once again.